"CEDIE! CEDIE! WHERE ARE YOU?"

December 23rd, 2011.
Friday, 6:30 in the morning. It was too early for me to wake up. It was not my plan to wake up early. But suddenly I got up from my bed. 


I was looking for my Cedie. I was shouting out loud, "Cedie, Cedie, where are you. Come out. Cedie, Cedie".

I couldn't find him. People around who heard me shouting started mocking me. They imitated my shouts. I traveled so far. I went past lots of places looking for my Cedie. I don't understand how I traveled. I didn't see any vehicles. I saw myself once walking along the highway. There was no one in that place. It looked like wilderness. It was like one of the mountains in Polillo Island in Quezon, Philippines. There weren't any houses. I was not riding any vehicles, but I think, I was moving so fast. I was walking so fast. Or I was traveling so fast in my dream.


I remember, we were trying to help some brethren. It's not clear why we were helping them. But we were telling them to take that weird vehicle that was waiting along the street. It seemed like it was a truck because it had a passenger seat beside the driver. It was high and big. But it had a roof. So it looked like a bus. The difference is that the front passenger seat of the bus doesn't have a door. The mode of transportation in my dream had a passenger seat beside the driver with a door. It could be my L300 van. But my van is a little smaller. This means of transportation was much bigger than my van. Cedie jumped up that vehicle and took the front seat. I saw the door closed, but I didn't see the driver.


I saw Jo-ane Avancena riding that weird vehicle at the back. She was the ONLY prominent individual in my dream BUT SHE WAS ALL IN BLACK. I saw first the BLACK COLOR then that black color appeared to be this woman, Jo-ane Neri Avancena who was comfortably sitting at the back of the weird vehicle as if she was not seeing anyone. Seats at the back were similar to the seats of my L300 van. 

I always wonder why this woman who always makes my life, my profession, and my career a mess is always present in my dream. Is it because I cannot express what I really feel about this woman because I need to control my emothions so I won't commit any sins against my GOD? 

She made my life, profession, and career in trouble by messing up, botching, and bungling all my things here at my centre which up to this day, December 24th, 2011, are NOT organized and NOT in order yet despite the fact that I started re-structuring my place in August. Because of this unmethodical, inefficient, and sloppy woman, my plans this year, 2011, are NOT pursued.

My Cedie passed by my side as a black and gold cat, NOT  a dog. But I said to myself, he was Cedie. I even called him. He just ignored me. I kept on helping people.


While we were busy taking care of the people in my dream, we didn't notice that the vehicle went off. When I looked around toward the direction of that bus-truck like vehicle, it was gone. 


That's the time my hubby and I started searching for Cedie. At first we were together. I think, we took a weird motorcycle at first. Then suddenly, I saw ourselves walking parallel along a highway. That time mockery and ridicule started to begin. But we didn't mind them. We continued seeking for Cedie. 

Then I suddenly woke up. I thought it was real. So I started looking for Cedie, my pet. I found him on his pedestal. He has a special place every time he sleeps. He was still sleeping. I woke him up and checked his condition. He was fine. Until later that day, I discovered that Cedie was not in the good mood. Cedie was not eating. Cedie was not in the mood to play with me. 


Today, December 24th, 2011, Cedie is sick with colds and fever.
I just hope and pray that my dream won't come true. Because if Cedie will be lost, a part of my life will also be gone.


Please heal my Cedie, my Father.

"TAKE ME THERE": THE THIRD DREAM BEFORE 2011 ENDS

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011, 9A.M.
This was the first day of my performance as a choir member in a church wedding after our Thanksgiving. I was looking forward to singing in that wedding. It was the wedding of the daughter of Bro. Romy Manalac.

Prior to the wedding, that's in the morning when I was still sleeping, I saw this dream.

I was in a gathering. I had my clear book with me. All choir members must have their clear books with musical notations every time we perform our duties. Without a clear book, a choir member cannot sing in the choir loft.


It was a big gathering. I had my clear book, but I was not in the choir loft. Though, I was singing with the choir. Male choir was in the choir loft with ONLY ONE female who looked like sister Jean, the temple choir leader and Prof. Julie T. Valencia, my best friend, who is also a choir member in the Locale of Murphy in Quezon City, Philippines.


I am just wondering why the setting was at the temple, but the choir members were all male. Another thing is, my best friend, Julie cannot sing with us at the temple unless she is gonna transfer from the Locale of Murphy to the Locale of Central.


Joan Avancena, a choir member who has been working here at my centre as a teacher for almost 3 years now, was beside me singing all the hymns. She was on my right. Another weird thing is, I talked to someone on my left while I was performing my duty. I told her that it's really good to sing praises to the Almighty GOD. She said that she was also a choir member when she was still young. So I asked her why not come back to the choir to sing songs of praises to the Creator. Then I went back singing hymns after whispering those words.


We sang a lot. One of the hymns that we sang had the following lyrics:
Life on this Earth is fragile, Father!
Please take me there.
Please take me there.

The hymn was a little bit long. These lines were repeated thrice.
Life on this Earth is fragile, Father!
Please take me there.
Please take me there.

These words were emphatic. I could see some mysterious light on each line. And because the canticle narrates life on Earth as fragile with lots of difficulties, every one was crying out loud. I was even crying when I woke up. It was not just a humble cry, it was a loud cry. Very seldom I dream like this.  I heard my voice crying. That's the reason why I suddenly woke up.

I just wonder what this dream means. This is the third dream that I dreamt before this year, 2011, ends.

Life on this Earth is fragile, Father!
Please take me there.
Please take me there.

Life on this Earth is fragile, Father!
Please take me there.
Please take me there.

THE MESSAGE OF ILIGAN AND CAGAYAN DE ORO FLASH FLOODS

 I started hearing news about flash floods on Sunday, December 18th, 2011. It was our Thanksgiving so I couldn't focus on the "outside world".

As a member of the Church of Christ (Romans 16:16, Acts 20:28),  I have additional responsibilities as a member of the English choir. Whenever I need to perform my church duties, I avoid watching TV programmes and movies. I also eschew  listening to everything about the "outside world". "Outside world" here refers to the things, places, people, and events that are not related to my church obligations. In other words, my "outside world" stops when I am in my "Holy world".


I admit, I always hear the news late. But whenever I am not into my "Holy world", I spend almost 4 hours on researching, reading, blogging, and looking for things that are newly discovered, trendy, and beautiful on the internet every day. That's excluding the hours I spend on teaching my students online.


Honestly, during classes in the past few days, I shunned discussing these topics: Typhoon Sendong, Iligan City, Cagayan de Oro City, flash floods, and other things that are related to the recent disastrous event which is described as the world's deadliest storm in 2011. I didn't want to discuss them during my classes with my students. I am hurt whenever I start thinking about what's been going on in those affected areas.
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/12/19/11/sendong-worlds-deadliest-storm-2011

 But tonight, I felt some force that urged me to write this. It seems like this catastrophic event has a message, a ''spiritual'' message.

Let's analyze some things that have happened through the accounts of events I patiently searched on the net.

The Presidential Adviser for Environmental Protection described the flash floods created by Sendong on Tuesday, December 20th, 2011.
"Flash floods brought by tropical storm Sendong created a "reverse tsunami" that swept away entire communities in Iligan City and Cagayan de Oro before washing out to sea.

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/12/20/11/sendong-flood-reverse-tsunami-acosta


Barangay Councilor Prisco Zapanta of Barangay 13 in Burgos, Cagayan De Oro City said,
 “Nobody suspected that the huge flood was coming because early on that fateful day (Friday), the rains and winds of typhoon Sendong were considerably slow. It was only at about 10 p.m. when I observed the water at the Cagayan River surrounding Isla de Oro rising quite slowly.” 

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/113577/%E2%80%98i-saw-killer-sendong-floods-coming%E2%80%99-says-village-councilor

No one expected the coming of the rushing flash floods. According to a Christian perspective  Like a flood - a Christian perspective
The promised Messiah is prophesied to arrive "like a flood," catching people off guard with the power of his message. That certainly describes the rapid spread of Christ's gospel during the years following his resurrection. 

If men were able to exactly detect and foresee future events, tragedies like this could have been dodged. But man doesn't see everything. Man cannot see the future. Man doesn't completely know what will precisely happen.

NASA’s Tropical Rainfall Measuring Mission (TRMM) satellite produced the image above late on December 15, 2011. In this image, it shows the tallest thunderstorms in the storm that reached around 15 kilometers or approximately 9.3 miles. The TRMM estimated only heavy rainfall located in the southwest quadrant of the storm early on December 15. By that evening, the storm had intensified and was showing rainfall estimates of at least two inches (50 mm) per hour in the east, north, and western quadrants. Some areas across the region, including Mindanao, saw rainfall totals you would typically see in a month in just one day. Everyone pays attention to the winds of a tropical system, but the biggest threat from any tropical cyclone is heavy rain, flooding, and storm surge.
http://earthsky.org/earth/tropical-storm-washi-kills-hundreds-in-the-philippines

And no one had paid attention to the heavy rains and flooding as well as storm surges to be brought by Sendong.

The Bible tells something about the story of the great flood wherein Noah was given precautions and safety measures.
"Flood" in the Bible: Genesis 6-7
The story of the great Flood, which God sent to wipe clean a world that persisted in acting wickedly. Noah, his family, and the animals he brought on board the ark were spared by God from the destruction.

 Noah was given an advisory that time, BUT THIS TIME, THERE WASN'T ANY ADVISORY. Even if PAGASA warned or gave warning of the coming catastrophe, still, PAGASA's warning wasn't enough to survive the cataclysmic floods that killed more than 1,000 people.

ILIGAN, Philippines (AP) — A southern Philippine area devastated by flash floods that killed more than 1,000 people looks like it was hit by a tsunami, a U.N. official said Thursday as he appealed for $28 million in aid for the region.
http://ph.news.yahoo.com/un-philippine-flood-destruction-tsunami-064851973.html

Let's all be reminded that the Almighty GOD promised to destroy all life under the heavens.
 Genesis 6:17
I am going to bring floodwaters on the earth to destroy all life under the heavens, every creature that has the breath of life in it. Everything on earth will perish.

But the Creator also established a covenant with Noah, NOT to send flood to destroy the earth.
Genesis 9:11

I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.” 

Therefore, the flash floods created by Sendong weren't brought by the Almighty GOD. They were not caused naturally. They were caused by MAN which brought a conclusion to me that MAN HAS GROWN TO BE WILDER AND MORE BARBAROUS.
As the Holy Bible states, "love of most will grow cold in these last days".

Matthew 24:12

New International Version (NIV)

¹² Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,

 The Holy Bible also mentions about a "DAY" which will NOT COME UNTIL THE REBELLION OCCURS AND THE MAN OF LAWLESSNESS IS REVEALED. The Bible continues saying, "THE MAN DOOMED TO DESTRUCTION".

2 Thessalonians 2:3

New International Version (NIV)

³ Don’t let anyone deceive you in any way, for that day will not come until the rebellion occurs and the man of lawlessness^[a] is revealed, the man doomed to destruction.

 The online dictionary defines ''doom (v.)'' as 

1. To condemn to ruination or death. See Synonyms at condemn.

2. To destine to an unhappy end.

Look at our surroundings now. Look what happened to Iligan and Cagayan De Oro Cities. Everything is ruined. Everything resulted to death which made every one unhappy.
Let's all be reminded that THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR. DOOM'S DAY IS COMING SO FAST. IT IS COMPARED TO A THIEF. IT WILL COME LIKE FLASH FLOODS. NO ONE KNOWS. NO ONE WILL BE WARNED. DOOM'S DAY WILL JUST COME UNEXPECTEDLY. 

A HYMN OF PRAISES IN MY DREAM

December 17th, 2011
Every one was very busy preparing for our Thanksgiving.
I was still sleeping around 5A.M. My performance would be at 10AM. All officers were required to be in at 8A.M.

THE DREAM

Images in my dream are so vivid that up to this moment, I can't forget them.

I was talking to my sister, Marivic.
We were inside the nipa hut in her place. This is also the same place where our mother died alone. The nipa hut was bought by our brother Bernard when he came back in December, 2009 from Qatar, that was less than a year before he passed away. This nipa hut is also the place where my sister, my nieces and nephew eat their meals and entertain visitors. This is also their entertainment area where one can watch TV programmes and sing with the karaoke system. These TV set and karaoke system were given by my brother Bernard before he expired on August 11th, 2010.

I could see in my dream that my nieces, especially Hunny, were working and doing something while my sister Marivic was preparing food and drinks for me, and maybe for us. But for sure, she was preparing food and drinks. The drinks were probably coffee. Hunny was working on my left outside the nipa hut where my sister Vicky and I were talking. I was facing the other nipa hut beside our Mt. Heights Montessori and English School. She was working on land, maybe, planting something. But I saw she was pulling something. 

Marivic, my sister, was on my right if I would be facing that nipa hut where they cook their food and store their food as well. The same nipa hut that is beside our Mt. Heights Montessori and English School. She was also placed in front of me when I faced their house which is still under construction inside that compound with less than 1,000sq m lot in Caloocan City.

As usual, I was just sitting while conversing with them. This gesture has been my action in the family circle whenever we meet. Similar to my childhood when I would just talk and would tell them what to do, as if I was just a commander. The only difference in this dream is that I was talking in a friendly manner with everybody and I was humming our hymns particularly the 100 which is entitled "My Heart Resounds With Praise".


I told my sister Vicky that it really feels good to sing praises to our Father. Hymns give us a feeling of relief. She butted in by saying these..." especially that hymn, 100. It will be sang in the Thanksgiving later". As she uttered these words, I woke up. I saw the clock. The clock said it was 5:30A.M.


I stopped for a while. Thought for a while. Then  got up to prepare for the Thanksgiving on that day, Saturday, December 17th, 2011.


THE HYMN
100  " M y Heart Resounds with Praise"
All Your blessings, Lord, I ponder
Graces flowing endlessly.
Oh, my life, I humbly offer
For the love You give to me.


Chorus:
Lord my heart resounds with praise.
As I give my thanks today.
Though Your love can't be repaid.
I will serve You all my days.


Lord, my GOD, You lead me safely
From the hands of misery.
And Your words of truth shine brightly,
Guiding me to victory.


Thank You, Father, for I'm chosen
To receive Your sacred grace,
Oh, the promise of salvation,
Blessed peace in Your embrace.
 
Chorus:
Lord my heart resounds with praise.
As I give my thanks today.
Though Your love can't be repaid.
I will serve You all my days.

 

The most emphatic line in my dream was ''I WILL SERVE YOU ALL MY DAYS''.

BERNARD'S OFFLINE MESSAGES on Tuesday, March 10, 2009 9:04 AM: " I WANNA REST "

 These were offline messages of my brother Bern when he was working in Qatar:

bernard ayende: not yet sure.

bernard ayende (3/6/2009 7:50:01 PM): baka hindi (maybe not)

bernard ayende (3/6/2009 7:50:11 PM): pero gusto ko na magpahinga (But I wanna rest now)

bernard ayende (3/6/2009 7:50:20 PM): pagod na ako here sa work ko (I'm so tired of my work here)

bernard ayende (3/6/2009 7:50:28 PM): hope to see you soon

..................................................................................................................................

I went to my e-mail inbox today. It's the e-mail address that I used with you when you were still alive. All the e-mails you sent to me, all our chats texts and everything that was about you are saved in that e-mail inbox.

As far as my feelings are concerned, I don't wanna go to this e-mail anymore. So I created a new one. But I don't wanna lose every memory of you. So I also need to go to this e-mail at least once a month.

Just 10 minutes ago, I read these messages from you, your offline messages which you sent me to YM when you were still in Qatar working at a British company based there.

I know that you and I have something in common. We both have ESP, Extra Sensory Perception. But I still can't believe up to this moment why I wasn't able to decipher your messages to me. You came back to the Philippines in March, 2010 for your company extended your services for more than two months, that's if my memory is right. 

When you came back in December of 2009, you gave us all watches. My watch is still here with me but our other siblings' watches are all gone now. You got the watch which was meant for me from its box. You put it on my wrist. 

I was wondering why you did that to me. There was also a question in my mind, "Why did you give us all watches?" Watch means time. You were telling us indirectly something about the time. 

I didn't talk about those thoughts. I didn't also tell them to you. Usually when I had something bad in my mind, I talked. But that time, I was so tongue tied. God didn't allow me to talk. 

I wasn't able to see you then. I was very busy with my training and summer classes. Until one day, our mom knocked at my door. I thought she was really alive. I even called her, "Mama!" But she's gone. She called me when I was sleeping in the afternoon of Thursday inside the nursery training room, that was after my church duty and before I started my afternoon classes. I usually rest in the afternoons of Thursdays for I wake up very early at 2 in the morning for the performances of my church duty as a member of the English choir in the locale of Central.

When I got up, I hurriedly went to my phones and started dialing your numbers. I was crying already that time. I was thinking something wrong was going on with you. Imagine, we have other siblings, but that time, it was only you who came into my mind after our mom called me while I was asleep.

When we were talking that day, you told me that Mama showed up to you on the night of Wednesday, prior to the day, Thursday, when our Mama called me while I was sleeping. You told me that you and Mama spent the night together drinking coffee. I had a strange feeling again. But I told you to pray a lot.

A week after that talk, it was Monday when I told you that I would be visiting you. You even asked me if I knew where you were. I told you that you were in your house in Laloma, unless you were in the hospital that time.

Then you called me through my mobile phone. At first you told e why I always knew what was happening to you. And I told you that you had forgotten that I have eight senses. Then you told me to go to the surgical section of the St. Luke's Hospital in E. Rodriguez Ave., Quezon City.

It took time to decide whether I would be allowing you to undergo the operation. I talked to all your doctors. I was waiting for the "go signal" from our GOD. My feeling was so positive that time. I had no intuition that would be dying. So I said "yes, you may undergo the operation". But when I was supposed to sign the waiver, you got it to sign it. 

Peacefully, I went back to my center to get my things for I needed to attend to my church duty on Thursday morning again. I just went home in the afternoon of Wednesday, conducted some of my online classes because I also needed some money that time. While I was teaching one of my Chinese students, I got a call from Yen, our niece, telling me to go back to the hospital because you needed me. 

When I came back, I saw you lying lifelessly on the bed inside the operating room. Your wishes of "resting" came true when you died on August 11th, 2010.

My eight senses usually worked out well. But on the day of your death, my senses were in vain.

By the way, did you take this death timer quiz? 
http://deathtimer.com/ 

Or it is really GOD's will that you went away without saying anything to test our faith in the TRUE LIVING GOD.

Am I Orthorexic?

What is orthorexia? Identified in 1997 by Colorado physician Steven Bratman, MD, orthorexia is Latin for “correct eating.” Here, too, the focus isn’t on losing weight. Instead, sufferers increasingly restrict their diets to foods they consider pure, natural and healthful. Some researchers say that orthorexia may combine a touch of obsessive compulsive disorder with anxiety and warn that severely limited “healthy” diets may be a stepping stone to anorexia nervosa, the most severe - and potentially life-threatening - eating disorder.

 

I eat to live. Not I live to eat. Eating for me is a necessity. It's not a luxury. So I just eat when I need to. If I am not hungry, I don't eat. Why should I? It will just add calories and weight to my body. I might not be able to maintain my ideal weight until I age.

I love eating foods that are ONLY right and proper to me. Fruits and vegetables are the main courses of my diet. If I don't eat vegetables, I feel so weak. I need to eat vegetables every day in order to be strong and be able to finish all my tasks in a day. Fruits are my deserts and my carbohydrates as well. I can finish eating one kilo of bananas in one meal. That's how voracious I am when it comes to fruits.

But I don't eat all kinds of fruits. I am too picky. I'm afraid that my atopic eczema or atopic dermatitis might attack. If that happens, I will be the one in trouble, not any members of my family, not any of my friends, but myself alone. So I need to be choosy.

I just want to know if my attitude brings me closer to being orthorexic. If someone reads this who knows something about orthorexia, please leave a message or comment. 

Thank you for your time. GOD BLESS!

A WONDERFUL NIGHT WITH MY CLOSE FRIENDS..............

I enjoyed my April 21st, 2011 night with my close friends here, Dr. Julie Valencia, a professor and a Doctor of Education; and a retired policewoman and officer, Precy Aguilar. After we finished our business talk, we started our singing spree. Well, life is really wonderful with my close friends around me. Close friends who won't discern me the way I really am and I have become. I can act naturally in front of them. I can say whatever I want to say without telling me that I'm going out of my mind. I can be with them soooooooooooooooo happily. I can feel the PRESENCE OF MY GOD WHEN I AM WITH MY CLOSE FRIENDS.....I LOVE THEM...I LOVE MY WHOLE FAMILY...BUT I LOVE MY GOD ABOVE ALL...Thank you soooooooooooooooooooo much GOD for giving me people around me who will accept the way I really am...though YOU have already taken away my brother, Bern, still YOU have been keeping people beside me, people who'll become my loving friends....THANK YOU, GOD for a wonderful opportunity.

Pretty Jean: The Person on Facebook

It's been a year and six days since I created this page, the Pretty Jean: The Person on facebook. It was December 10th, 2010 when I created this to commemorate my brother Bernard. It was August 11th, 2010 when he died. To ease the pain I was feeling inside, I created this page.
 http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/pages/Pretty-Jean-The-Person/173267462697511

Since that day, I earned a lot of friends. I also gained their sympathy. Whenever I posted something on thsi page, my friends never missed to hit the ''like'' button of my post.

Lately, I heard rumors about facebook's gonna shut down. Tonight, as early as 7:30, I was trying to see my page on facebook so I could record my online classes texts on Skype, but the database didn't allow me to.

I'm afraid to lose everything that I wrote on that page. So here I am making this blog to commemorate, and if possible. save all my literature especially my poetry on this page...
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=tn_tnmn#!/pages/Pretty-Jean-The-Person/173267462697511

You may check them out to know me more.